HOW TO PLEASE HIM - Rule 1: Keep sex free of drama and all emotional games.
Oh, yes, I know. I can hear you crying out: “Carlos! I would NEVER play games with the man I love!”
The truth is that we all have fallen prey to this temptation. I only encourage you to watch out for how you may be subtly manipulating his behavior.
Remember that “games” are anything we do in a relationship to influence the other person’s behavior without directly asking for what we want or need.
Keep that in mind when it comes to defining "game playing" in your relationship.
HOW TO PLEASE HIM - Rule 2: Know the Hidden Truth about men…
If there's one thing I can teach you today, it's this:
RELATIONSHIP TRUTH: Men are not afraid of intimacy... We fear having our intimacy rejected!
This is a subtle, yet critical distinction.
What many women interpret as being “commitment phobia” or fears of intimacy are not what they seem.
I haven’t met a man alive who wouldn’t want to connect in a deep and meaningful way with a woman. Yet most women don’t realize that since men don’t have as sophisticated relationship skills in many ways, this means that he must be EXTRA careful.
So if you’re quick to label this behavior a fear of intimacy, you might miss the fact that he’s desperate to connect to you. And he’s also going to wait and watch your behavior like a hawk.
The second you start to change, or your behavior starts being more about locking him down as a mate than it is understanding him and his emotional needs, he’ll start to pull away and retreat.
He knows he’s vulnerable, and will be on his guard for what may seem like an eternity.
And this is something you can watch out for and help him through with your loving attention in the bedroom.
Please Him In The Bedroom - Tip 1: Have fun FIRST...
Men are conditioned to believe that women only want sex as an expression of love. And of course, we never want it to be an expression of anything negative.
But sometimes getting the wild monkey on is all we really want. And that's A-okay!
You may have to educate your man that you don't always have to have a "love-making" session from a romantic movie.
Sometimes you just want hair-pulling, butt-smackin' fun in the sack. And that's all.
When he sees that it's not all super-serious, this frees him up to just enjoy himself - and have fun with you.
Which, if you’ve been keeping up on my essential rules of relationships, is the most important signal a man needs to see to fall in love with you.
What he really wants in the bedroom - Tip 2: Remove ALL Criticism
Criticism is the deadly poison of our relationships. It’s slow acting, but it almost always ensures that our relationship will not live.
One day, after the poison has done its work, it will end. And the worst part is that it’s not always obvious on the surface that the poison is in there.
Remember - For a man to give to you lovingly in a relationship, he can’t think for one moment that you would correct or criticize him in bed. Fears and insecurity in your relationship takes you out of your most resourceful state.
In order to keep up the feeling of safety you need, many women will often do things that sabotage the relationship.
For example, in order for her to feel like her relationship is stable and solid, she may try to keep her man close to her. She want to keep her eye on him.
Sometimes that closeness starts to encroach on his feelings of freedom. As it does when she starts to check in on him, or criticize him for going out with friends instead of staying home with her.
So when I tell you to remove the criticism, I’m really speaking about any negative emotional state that makes you act from fear and insecurity.
And yes, I know this is not an easy thing for anyone to do. It takes work.
The search for a person that we can create a lifelong romance and partnership with is also a search for the best part of ourselves. By embarking on this quest, we make an implied commitment to work on ourselves along the way.
Because ultimately, we will only attract the person into our lives that we have the self-esteem to keep.
There are similarities between the erogenous zones of a woman’s body and a man’s body. But there are some places you might not know about.
Here are a few areas of his body for you to pay particular attention to:
The outside of his lower lip
Most women are unaware of the sensitivity of this zone on a man. It’s exceptionally sensitive, to the point of almost being ticklish. Start out with some gentle lip-to-lip friction here, then work your way up.
Suck his lip into your mouth. Use the tip of your tongue to stimulate this area.
I guarantee you’ll be happy with the results…
Tease the neck
Just below a man’s Adam’s Apple is where his thyroid is waiting for some attention. This zone of a man’s neck - from the hollow of his throat up to the middle - is a great place for you to tease with your fingertips or the tip of your tongue.
Play The Perineum
Often crudely called the “Taint” - this patch of skin between his testicles and anus is a mystical zone of joy. It’s been linked to the “sacral” chakra and the “Kundalini” area of energy in more spiritual texts.
You only need to know that stimulating this area will knock him into stupefying pleasure.
You’ll want to be at least comfortable with each other in bed before venturing into this zone. It’s a very personal area for a man. He has to know that you’re not going “up the ol’ dirt road” without his permission.
While in the throes of love, or if you’re just going downtown for some fun, simply use a knuckle or fingertip to apply some pressure to this area. He’ll be glad you did.
This is where you stimulate the sensitive skin of his hand. Use your fingertips to trace tiny circles in the center of his palm, then widen them out to the edges of his hand.
And then do it all over again.
This will create a nice ticklish tease that gets his whole body tingling and excited...
Make him want desire you - Tip 4: Know how to present your “oral” report…
Yeah, we know by now that the male member is the focal point of his life. And It’s no secret that men love it when a woman gives him a little “lip service” down there.
But do you know why this is so important to him, besides the way it feels?
Men equate your willingness to give him head as the amount of acceptance you have for him.
Also, did you know that there is virtually an infinite number of things you can do down there that will bring him joy?
One is how you use the variety of movements you can accomplish with your lips and tongue to his equipment.
The more into the act you appear, the more he believes you must find him virile, masculine, and desirable as a man. Very similar to the way you want to know that he finds you irresistible.
Here are a few quick tips that will put him over the top:
Flick the Frenulum
The frenulum is the area that is below the head on the underside of his shaft. It’s the male equivalent of the clitoris. And it’s worth finding, because the amount of friction you give him here will blow his mind.
Just be sure to back off every so often to let him recover, and then recommence the lingual assault…!
While not being a bad addition to any oral fun, this can also be your best friend.
Don’t be afraid to let things get wet ’n wild if you’re supplementing your oral work with hand work. Guys love that additional lube.
What Men Want In Bed - Tip 6: Use Your Illusion…
Fantasies play a big part in sex for guys. We have our own private ones we created way back when we first started thinking about all that dirty stuff...
The mental movies he’s carrying around will do all the heavy lifting for you - if you choose to dig in and use them for your own benefit. There’s a whole treasure trove of ready-made pleasure in there that will make you his Queen.
Just ask him what’s been on his mind lately when it comes to the “nasty.” And what his most common fantasies are...
NOTE: If you’re the kind of girl who can’t handle hearing about his inner fantasies - meaning you’re likely to get jealous - just skip this one.
I had to know my wife was okay with my Thandie Newton fantasies before sharing my thoughts from that first season of "Westworld." Mmmm-mm.
What Men Want In Bed - Tip 7: Start Your Own Engine…
A guy wants to think that he is so sexy that you can’t control yourself. That you literally see him and just HAVE to have him.
If you can work up your nerve to start revving up your own engine - i.e., masturbate in front of him - you’ll be amazed at how responsive and attentive he will be.
You can dip into your own fantasy pool for this one, if you want to get the motor running. And NO - it’s NOT cheating to think of some other guy. (He’s probably thought of a few fantasies himself.)
When a guy sees that a woman is in control of her own pleasure, AND she’s got the courage to put it out there in front of him... he’s going to rise faster than boiling milk.
Don’t be afraid to get started without him. Trust me, he’ll join you … ASAP.
And ultimately the most important tip I can give you is to go back to #1 and remember to have fun. If sex gets too serious or weird, you’ll lose one of the most valuable connections in your relationship.
Not only do I talk about getting him to see you as the sexy goddess you are, I've got the inside track to the secrets of the male mind. Pay attention to this presentation because knowing him means making him feel safe.
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