"Do I Love Him?" 25 Signs You're In Love (And not just infatuated)
By: Carlos Cavallo
Sometimes it’s easy to doubt your feelings. When it comes to your love relationship, you might be wondering: "Do I love him?
Is He The One?
Sometimes it happens right at the very start. You meet a guy and you just click. And you think right away, I'm falling in love.
Other times, you might meet a guy and think he's just friends. But then something happens that turns that on its head. And you might find yourself questioning the relationship. Could you be in love with him? You may even be in a relationship right now, and struggling to keep it together. You might even be wondering if it's all worth it.
Do you love him?
Let’s find out...
If you're the kind of person that believes in destiny or fate, you may think that this is out of your hands. That you might be falling in love whether or not you want to. And there's some truth to that.
Attraction isn't really a choice when it comes right down to it. We don't get to choose the people we feel attracted to.
Sometimes it's their looks
Sometimes it's their attitude
Sometimes it's their lifestyle
Sometimes it's their fun personality
If you've ever tried to choose someone to fall in love with, chances are you've been pretty disappointed with the results. Your thinking brain just can't choose as well as your heart can when it comes to passionate Romance and love.
Of course the big reason you want to know “do I love him or not?” is because you don't want to fall in love with someone that's wrong for you. Or that doesn't love you back.
We want to jump into the best romance possible.
When I was a younger man, I fell in love way too easily. Which led to a lot of heartbreak. I fell in love with women that were wrong for me - or that I was wrong for.
But I wouldn't go back and change anything. That's where I got all of my understanding and experience from. And that's what brought me to the point where I became the dating and relationship advice Guru.
Still, I'm sure you don't want to go through all those Growing Pains. Which is why I'm here.
Are there signs that you can see that will tell you if he's the one you love? As it happens, yes.
There's some science to this, of course. One of the primary love chemicals that we feel when we're in love is adrenaline. Which, as you know, can really give you a jolt of energy when you need it.
This is why love is so exciting - the new emotional connection AND the feeling of "aliveness" you have when you're falling in love.
Love Sign #2: He makes you feel alive
Another of the great effects of love is this incredible feeling of just being alive. You feel more in touch with your senses and the world around you. It's like everything is dialed up to 11.
Foods taste better
Colors seem brighter
Connections seem stronger
You'll even feel the impact of your love for him in all of your relationships. You may find yourself more forgiving and tolerant of your family. You might find yourself reaching out to old friends you haven't talked to in awhile.
Life just seems so much more vivid when you're in love. It's a great place to be, and you want to live your life from here all the time.
The feeling of being immersed in the present moment is amazing, and one of the reasons you feel so alive when you start a new relationship.
Love Sign #3: He steadies the boat
Another great effect of a love relationship is revealed when you surrender to your relationship.
When a woman falls in love with a man, she gives in to his strength in many ways. And one way that's important is you feel so much more steady with him. Your emotions feel calmer and more easy to deal with with him around.
You feel like you can cope with things so much better, and even petty annoyances and grievances just don't impact you quite the same way when you’re in love with him.
Your emotional cycles won't feel so crazy, either.
Love Sign #4: You feel LEGIT trust
One of the biggest signs that you're probably looking for is Trust.
When you wonder if you love him, you should check in with yourself and see how much you feel that trust with him as well. Chances are you feel very trusting of him and the relationship.
You might find yourself revealing things you've never talked about before, digging deep into your soul with him.
You even feel that if there was a breach of trust, you’d be able to heal it and go on together. Not that you would want him to break your trust, of course, but you feel that your connection is strong enough to endure if there was a slip up.
Love Sign #5: You feel the future of your love
Of course, you're looking out into the future of your relationship more and more. You might be planning trips, thinking about your future family, or just all the great stuff you're going to share in the future.
The future simply looks so much brighter when you're in love with him. You know you've got a partner in crime, someone you can rely on.
It makes life much easier to deal with knowing you've got that kind of support. And when the future is more certain, you feel better about yourself and the world around you. Everything has a halo effect.
Love Sign #6: You want to share him with everyone
Well, maybe not EVERYONE - and not all the time. But you do feel like you want everyone you know and who is important to you to meet him.
It's probably important for your friends to meet him right away. After all, you have to let them meet the guy that you're talking about all the time. (And maybe stir up just a little bit of jealousy.)
And of course you want your family to meet him too. When you have something this good in your life, you want everyone to know that you got it.
Sure maybe that's a little bit of bragging, but when you wait and wait and eventually find a good man, that's something worth broadcasting.
Love Sign #7: His needs are your needs
When you got a man that you're in love with, you're going to want to take care of him. You want to share in his victories, and be there for him.
And above all else you want him to be happy. After all, don't you want him to make YOU happy?
So one of the easy signs to spot is when you notice that you want to take care of his needs.
Making sure that your partner is Happy along with you is a natural thing to do. You'll be fine as long as you can separate your emotions from each other when you recognize you can't always ride the same roller coaster.
Love Sign #8: Everything reminds you of him
If you've been in love before, you probably noticed that you get tuned in to the man you love. You notice that almost everything you see or do has a way of reminding you of him.
What happens is your brain gets programmed to notice these things. And it's because he's important to you.
It's almost like your brain is tuned into your heart. And it's there waiting to make him show up in your thoughts at every opportunity.
Love Sign #9: You see your future in the cards
Of course, one of the biggest ones is seeing him in your future. And knowing that you want to have a future with him.
Love has this way of making us look out into the future and reassure us that we're safe. We're taken care of.
No one likes the uncertainty ahead of us. But knowing that the person you love is out there with you makes it tolerable.
Love Sign #10: You get a little obsessed
Yeah, truth be told you're going to probably find yourself obsessing a little bit over him. As long as you can maintain control over your emotional state and not let it go too far, it's okay to have a little bit of obsession.
However, you want to make sure that he is just as obsessed with you. When this is out of balance, you might start to go through some ugly ups and downs in your relationship.
True love has balance.
So if you find yourself constantly distracted by thoughts of him, that's only natural.
Whenever you find something you really enjoy in your life, it grows within your awareness.
Love Sign #11: It doesn’t matter what you do
When you're together and you're in love with him, it doesn't really matter what you do together. In fact, love seems to make even the most boring things interesting with another person.
Of course, time also seems to fly right by when you're with the man you love. Which makes you cherish the present moment that much more.
It's a great lesson in spiritual presence, and it definitely tells you that you're in love with him.
Love Sign #12: You want the Deets!
When the right guy comes along and you fall for him, you want to know all the corny details of his life.
Yes, you want to know what his favorite TV show is, his favorite food, what it was like going to high school for him, who his first crush was in high school…
Well, maybe ignore that last one until you feel really really secure in the relationship...
BUT - eventually - you're going to want to know all the details of his life, and even the silly ones at that.
You'll file away all kinds of crazy information like his favorite type of underwear, what he's thinking about when he drifts off during a football game, how he props up his pillows before going to sleep…
It's all going into the encyclopedia in your heart - and your brain.
Love Sign #13: You feel your Lioness come out…
Your lioness is the protective and fierce side of you. and nothing brings this out more than a new love.
You'll want to be protective of him at every opportunity. Not that he will need it, but you have a maternal / loving connection with him that makes you want to take care of him.
If and when you have kids together, you'll just transfer that same feeling right over to your cubs.
I mean, your kids!
Love Sign #14: You feel the investment growing
When you fall in love with a guy, you're going to want to get deeper and deeper into the relationship with him. Which means you'll invest more in your relationship.
This is exactly why you'll be much more sensitive to disconnect as you realize you're falling in love with him. Your investment is your heart. And you want to make sure that his is in it, too.
Jealousy can be one of the ways this investment shows up. Other emotions, not always positive, can point out just how invested your heart has become.
As long as you pace yourself to fall in love with him at the same rate he is with you, you will be fine.
Love Sign #15: You’ll make sacrifices for him
This is one of those signals you can't ignore. If you're making small sacrifices to get him into your life, you probably already know whether or not you love him.
And of course this usually shows up when you have to do something particularly yucky for him.
Maybe you have to take care of his dog while he's out of town…
Maybe you're cleaning up his apartment while he's away... including that underwear you found under the sofa…
Maybe you're just cleaning out the decades-old food at the back of his fridge
Whatever the situation is, the small sacrifices don't feel like too much compared to the love you have together.
If you can keep that feeling and that willingness going in your relationship - and he gives it back as well - you've got a great love in the making.
Love Sign #16: You’re in the Time Warp
When it comes to your relationship, the time you spend together has a certain timeless quality to it. It almost seems like time both stops and also accelerates when you're with him.
This kind of time warp is a huge clue that you love him.
Time flies because you're together, sharing the moment. And yet you don't seem to care about what the time is at all.
Love Sign #17: His love gives you DRIVE
One of the strange side effects is, when you're in love you feel like you've got infinite reserves of motivation. It seems like the calendar has rolled years off your age - you feel ten years younger.
And you act like it!
You might even start getting up early to go to the gym. Or staying up late to get things done, or just be with him.
You'll even find this drive and motivation bubbling over into your work life and your personal life.
Enjoy the extra energy and put it to use!
Love Sign #18: You work on yourself
Yes one of the crazy side benefits is that you even find yourself wanting to improve to be worthy of this love you have with him.
You realize that if you want to have a relationship with him, you're going to have to grow. You don't want him out-growing you.
And, you're starting to feel motivated about it as well. It feels good to work towards a greater love.
A little self-improvement wouldn't hurt, and it even makes sense when a relationship seems so promising.
Love Sign #19: You can handle his flaws
Look, every guy has imperfections. But when you're in love with him, they don't seem so bad.
In fact, you probably find yourself overlooking quite a few of them.
The danger here is that you overlooked something that is real and needs to be looked at. So make sure you are still paying attention to what really matters in your relationship.
And of course make sure you keep letting go of the small flaws that don't need to be held on to. You know he's not your self help project, and he doesn't want to be.
Love Sign #20: You’re always talking about him
Of course your friends might not complain about this (to your face), but you're going to find yourself talking about him quite a bit. This goes hand-in-hand with wanting to share him with everyone you know.
After all, he's a great find. You're falling in love with him and you want everyone else to love him too.
Just beware not to wear out your welcome by talking about him too much. Maybe you've been on the other side of that and rolled your eyes when your girlfriends are infatuated.
Love Sign #21: You recycle the conversations & texts
Have you ever found yourself reviewing a conversation you had in text?
It's one of those things we do when we're in love. You’ll find yourself replaying conversations in your head.
Reviewing the texts on your phone.
Remembering those times you spent together.
What you're doing when you do this is simply trying to re-taste the present moment joy you felt in that moment.
While there's nothing wrong with it, make sure you don't get too lost in fantasy. Stay true to the moment. And keep creating new memories.
Love Sign #22: You lose the negativity
In a strange way, you'll also find your attitude changing quite a bit. If you've been sarcastic and negative and dark in the past, you might lighten up a bit when love touches your heart.
Your negativity takes a backseat to the positive promise of a new relationship. A new man.
It's very hard to cling to negativity when you're faced with the openness and presence of love.
If you're wondering "do I love him?", this is one of the most significant signs.
Love Sign #23: You’ve told him the really crazy stuff
What kind of crazy stuff? Oh, YOU KNOW.
All those dark secrets you’ve been dying to exorcise from your soul seem to want to escape with every whisper from your mouth.
I once had a girlfriend tell me in intimate detail how she used to steal things from the girls locker room during gym class. She'd sneak through the lockers and take stuff from what she found.
Now, I found this kind of shocking at the time. If I wasn't dating her, it would have been a pretty startling thing to hear.
But the funny thing was that knowing I was in love seem to make it all pretty ... acceptable.
You're going to find yourself disclosing all kinds of secrets to him. Maybe part of this need to confess is a desire to be accepted at the very deepest levels.
Just be careful you don't accidentally sabotage everything by telling him the really nasty stuff.
Love Sign #24: Near constant distraction
If there’s one thing that you can be sure of, it’s that love will distract you.
Pretty much every thought popping into your head every 30 seconds will be about him…
Or you and him…
This is just your mind's way of coming to terms with your hormonal preoccupation with this man. If you can handle the constant distraction and interruption by these intrusive thoughts, you'll find that they eventually slow down.
And yes, they must slow down. If you're going to function as an adult human being, they better release a little bit of their interruptive power over you.
The initial distractive daydreams are okay. But don’t let yourself get addicted to the fantasies. Remember that the relationship has to thrive in the reality of being together.
Love Sign #25: He’s your #1 connection
Ultimately, you realize that this guy you love is probably your strongest connection.
When you feel a deep heart-to-heart connection with him, that's usually the best signal that you're in love with him.
The connection you create with a guy IS your relationship, after all. There's nothing more important than this shared feeling of being "together."
It's almost as if you feel what he feels, and vice-versa.
So it's pretty obvious that the essence of any relationship is the connection you have with him. If you don't know how to connect with him, you'll find yourself struggling to get him to appreciate you.
In fact, if you don't have a connection with him, you're never going to be able to get him to stay.
But when you know how to connect with him, you'll have the edge over every other woman. It's the "secret sauce" of every successful relationship.
I just put the finishing touches on a program that will show you how men connect with you - and how to make him love you back...
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