You see, most men don't feel very appreciated. They try and try, but most women don't see their actions as being loving gestures.
This is one of the ways that we completely overlook our partners needs. We give them what we want to give them, not what they really want.
When you want to tell him you love him, why not speak HIS language?
The first thing to do is to know how he prefers to experience love. If you're not familiar with it, Gary Chapman has a list of five love languages.
You need to find out what his language is, and then use it.
Here is that list:
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
In order to have the most impact, you want to use the language he will understand. Most men really appreciate physical touch and quality time.
Make sure you find out what his love language is.
How To Say It #4 - Let Him Know You VALUE Him
One universal language of love is that a man wants to know that you value him. That you value what he offers you is something he wants to know you recognize.
He needs to be appreciated.
So when he fixes something for you, or goes out of his way for you, or does some Act of Service for you, make sure you let him know you see it and value it. This one tip alone will probably guarantee he falls for you.
Most women completely overlook his need to be valued. As a result, he gets tired of never seeing gratitude, and the next woman who knows this can swoop him right up.
Don't miss this valuable understanding.
How To Say It #5 - Use Different Words Than The Rest
If you say “I Love You” all the time, it can become tired and lose its impact. We tend to get lazy with our expression of love in a relationship.
We lose the feel and importance of those three words.
You want to find new words to express your feelings. You don’t ever want “I Love You” to be a conditioned response.
So try one of these phrases on for size:
I feel nothing but love for you
I have strong feelings for you
I’m falling for you
I care for you so much
You’re my everything
You turn me on
You’re my one and only
I’m all yours (and only yours!)
I’m head over heels for you
I lust for you
I crave your touch
You mesmerize me
I’m devoted to you
You make me dizzy when I’m near you
You take my breath away.
Baby, be my one and only
You take me to the moon and beyond
You brighten up every part of my life
You make me want to be a better woman
You’re always in my thoughts
You’re the one I want most
I keep falling in love with you over and over again
You’re the focus of my affection
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before
I can’t imagine life without you
You make my heart sing
You light up my life - and my day
I will be there for you no matter what
I love you more than words can say
Being with you makes anything feel possible
You complete me (Yes, Jerry Maguire him!)
I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you (Don’t use this one unless he’s already told you he loves you)
You’re my best friend - and more
I know I’ll be fine when I’m near you
You make me feel so safe
I will always be there for you
You mean more to me than you know
You leave me breathless
You rock my world
I’d be lost if it weren’t for you
You are my light
You’re my inspiration
You make my heart skip
You feel like home
I treasure every moment with you
You’re my ‘perfect’
You drive me crazy in the best possible way
You’re precious to me
I’m so grateful to have you in my world.
I treasure you
Being with you is a dream come true
You keep me spellbound
Nothing can compare to you
You captivate my heart
You inspire me
You’re all I need
You mean the world to me
I’m so lucky to have you in my life
You pick me up when I’m feeling down
You’re different from anyone I’ve ever met.
I’ve waited a lifetime for some like you
Meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me
I can always count on you to make me smile
You’re so sexy in the morning.
I love being near you.
I love you more and more with every day.
I’m so crazy about you
I love everything you are
I see you and I love all of you
Of course, you can come up with your own words, but these are some great ways to express love without necessarily saying the “L” word.
Change up the words from time to time. If you keep saying I love you to him, he will just take you for granted. We stop hearing the words.
I once had my girlfriend show up outside my office building with kids from her social work office. They each had a cardboard letter from a message and they held it up outside my office building: “I Love You Boo”
(Yeah, “Boo” was her nickname for me. I'm sure there are worse nicknames.)
Always interrupt his assumptions and say something in a new way.
How To Say It #6 - Say it in a text, but make it different
Again, don't always use the same three words: I Love You
They stop having meaning when we assume we know what it means.
When you're in a long-term relationship, one of your most important duties is to keep finding new ways of expressing your feelings to your partner. This keeps the relationship feeling new, and avoids it becoming boring.
When you say things in a text, you have to be very sure to be different.
One of the ways you can do this is to send him an image that expresses the same thing. Think of indirect ways you can share your love with him.
Maybe you can send him a string of emojis that communicate your feelings. Just like a little code.
The more creative you get, the more he will appreciate your effort.
After a while, texting becomes really boring to a guy. I hate to tell you this, but it's true.
You have to find new and more interesting ways of expressing your feelings. That's part of the effort that makes relationships last.
Don't rest on your laurels.
How To Say It #7 - Use Your Body
It's kind of a cliche, but men tend to feel loved most when they actually feel it with their body.
Yes this means whoopie. The horizontal Bop. Bumping Uglies. Breaking the box spring.
I think you get the picture.
Guys tend to express love physically. So sex isn't just sex for a guy. It's a lot more than that.
What you do in the bedroom is really an expression of his emotional state. He just doesn't use words.
So if you've been complaining that he never tells you how he feels, it's because you're not tuned into the right frequency. He's telling you. You're just not hearing it.
How To Say It #8 - Use someone else's words
Yes, you can use a quote from someone else to tell him you love him. Just make sure it's Unique and one that he probably has never heard before. The more obscure the better.
And don't take credit for it as if it was your own. If he asks, tell him where you got it. He'll still appreciate the message.
I would recommend you never use song lyrics to express your love, however. They don’t usually don’t sound as meaningful. And if he recognizes the song, it just feels corny and insincere.
Take some time to research on your favorite search engine. You’ll find some gems that will even bring a tear to your eye.
How To Say It #9 - Stop Using Words!
Remember what I said earlier? About using words instead of actions?
The best way you can say 'I love you' to him is to do it with your actions. And I'm not just talking about in the bedroom.
There's lots of different ways you can demonstrate love to a guy.
For example: Send him a mix tape!
That's right just like it was back in high school - if you grew up in the 80s like me - you send him a playlist of songs. Of course you’ll probably send this through your personal music service.
Just send him a list of songs that remind you of him and the relationship. Try to not be too sappy or corny. Pick songs with some depth in them.
And also mix up genres. Maybe throw some AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long” in along with some U2. Or even some jazz.
And if you really want to make things interesting, be brave and send a song with an ambiguous message. Something that will make him wonder if he really does have you. This will make him fascinated with you even more.
Instead of using words to say you love him, this sort of thing is much more effective. Especially if you inject a little bit of curiosity in it for him to figure out.
How To Say It #10 - Get Him To Say It To YOU!
That’s right - one of the best ways to tell a guy you love him is to get him to FEEL his love for you!
And make him want to reciprocate it.
Unfortunately most women tell a guy she loves him because she really just wants to hear him say it back her.
If this is your motivation, then you probably shouldn't be saying it at all. Guys can sense when you're only saying it to get the “I love you” back from him. This feels kind of insincere and insecure at the same time.
So the best thing for you to do is to get him to say it first. That's what you really want anyways, isn't it?
How do you do that? How do you get him to say it to you?
To tell you he loves you?
So you don't have to wonder all the time if you've REALLY got him.
It's easy - but it all depends on where you are right now in your relationship.
Most women are in one of three situations with a man...
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