"Where are all the good men?" Every woman has asked this at some point or another. So let's talk about where to meet men, and some places you might not have missed.
When it comes to meeting men, the truth is that there are really no bad places to meet men. Oh sure, you don't want to meet a man in prison. But for the most part, you can meet men anywhere and everywhere you go.
As the old song goes, it's raining men...
But I can hear you right now saying "Carlos, but they're not quality men!" And you'd probably be right.
So the real question is how to meet quality men. Which is actually in the same places, but with a slightly different method.
That's what we're going to talk about here.
But first let's handle the ugly elephant in the room. The fact is that most women still go to the exact same places to meet men that they always have. This might be anything from:
Blind dates setup by friends
Oh, and let's not forget the #1 place that women go to meet men:
Nowhere at all!
I don't want to be negative, but this is the truth. And it's also the truth for men.
Most people talk a lot about meeting someone, but they don't make a real concerted effort to do it.
Most people really don't try. Most people don't go anywhere at all on purpose to meet the opposite gender.
We stay home, wish we had somebody to date, but we don't do much about it. Or we just hope that somebody's just going to find us.
Or they're just gonna come knocking on our door and ask us out on a date. Like some cheesy romance novel. (Let's be honest, that never happens even in romance novels.)
Someone once said:
"Dating is a contact sport..." - Carlos Cavallo
Okay, yeah that was me that said it.
But it's absolutely true; you can't play this love game from your couch. (Until you've met somebody, of course. Then go ahead and play on the couch all night long...)
What makes a 'good place' to meet men?
Here's a few criteria for you:
Practical - are these really good places to meet guys? Or is it just another lame suggestion just to fill out a list.
Realistic - would you actually go there?
Productive - are you likely to meet your goal of meeting a guy there? Or would you have to go every single day for the next 10 years?
Obviously the more volume/ quantity of guys the better. A desert island is never going to compete with a singles mixer in terms of success ratio.
I'm going to suggest places to meet men that are as practical, realistic, and productive as I can.
Is there a trick to meeting guys?
No, not at all. There's no trick beyond showing up, and appearing open to meeting people.
And, don't worry. I will tell you some places to go to meet men.
But first I want to make sure we don't have any illusions. Or that you think there is a magical place that all the great men have been hiding out and waiting for you to find them. This magical place does not exist.
And if you keep secretly hoping it does, you'll never get out and do what's necessary to meet a great man. And yes, they are out there.
What about meeting guys in the age of pandemics and social change?
I typically don't like to address temporary situations in my articles or videos. But this one demands some attention.
Some of these methods may require a little more effort. You may have to network a little bit more. But they do work.
Remember that the people who are successful at anything in life are that way because they didn't let obstacles stop them. They didn't let excuses or circumstances prevent them from getting to their goals.
In fact, the challenges they ran into were like fuel to keep going further and further. The more obstacles they ran into, the more motivated they got. That's how devoted and dedicated they were to what they accomplished.
I could give a woman a thousand ways to meet a guy, but if she is easily discouraged, it doesn't matter what I tell her. The first time she runs into a problem, she will use that problem as an excuse to stop.
Don't be her!
Do you need 100 places to go meet men?
In reality you only need one. And that's the one place that you go to consistently, meet men regularly, and put the work in to get noticed and make conversation.
But that's a lot to ask for isn't it?
I just want to make sure you don't think that having a thousand ways to do something is an advantage. It isn't.
If I were to show you 1 million ways to make money, how many of them could you actually make work?
Probably only one or two. Which means it's not the quantity, it's the quality.
And your willingness to work the method.
Okay, so enough talk let's dig into -
Where To Meet Men - The Essential Places
#1: Social gatherings of any kind
Look, there's no substitute for having a wide social network. That's how most women meet guys.
It happens this way because we trust our friends, and networking through them means we stand a better chance of running into a quality person. And at least a person who is probably safe.
Of course safety is paramount for a woman.
You've got go to as many parties as you possibly can. If you feel like a wallflower, or a shy girl, it's probably time to get over it. Especially if you're over 35.
You reach a certain point in your life and you realize you gotta stop making excuses for avoiding people. It's time to brave it.
It's time to stretch your wings and reach your full potential.
#2: Friends & Friends Of Friends
This one connects right back to social gatherings. Your social network is the most valuable goldmine for meeting guys.
You can play this a couple of ways:
If you're with a group of your friends, just bring up the fact that you are looking for relationship but haven't found very many good candidates lately. (Try to avoid any complaining regarding this, though. The more upbeat and positive you are the more likely they will want to connect you with somebody.)
Just see if they have anybody they want to suggest.
You can ask them directly: "Hey, do you know anyone that might be an interesting match for me? I'm looking to date, and maybe even just expand my friendship circle."
Of course, the more that you can impress your friends that you're not the type of person who would make a big deal if a relationship did or didn't work out that they set you up with, the better. no one likes the thought of having their generosity come back around in a whiny way later on.
Whatever activities your friends are doing, try to go along for as many as you can. You just never know when you're going to run into that special guy.
Yes, it is a bit of a crap-shoot, but when you roll lucky seven, you'll be glad you took that chance.
#3: Get thee to a hardware store
Oh yeah, you heard me right. You want to meet capable, masculine men?
Aisle 16, Home Depot.
Okay, maybe not that specific. But you get my point.
The fact is, you will not only see more women in hardware stores these days, but you will also see a different set of men there as well. These are guys that are capable of fixing things, doing things with their hands, creating and building.
These are essential qualities of a real man. And we know that this is harder and harder to find these days.
So do yourself a favor go to the hardware store and get a few projects done. And in the process, maybe ask that cute guy in the paint aisle what he thinks the best brand is.
#4: Anytime you're in a line
These days, you may be standing 6 feet behind the person ahead of you, but that doesn't stop you from starting a conversation with someone.
If you're stuck waiting for any reason, there's no reason why you can't reach out and make a connection while you're there. We need to make more of these connections everywhere we go, to help forge connections once again in our troubling culture.
And, I have to point out, when you're making these connections don't think you have to only make them with men. The reality is that you may meet the love of your life through another female friend.
Every new woman you meet also has an entourage of men who may not have been right for her, or that she knows and wouldn't date. And vice versa. Wouldn't it be great to be part of a giant network of matchmakers?
That's what got me providing dating and relationship advice to men and women in the first place. The thought of a world-wide network of people helping other people find love...
#4b: If you DO go to bars...
Look, I won't kid you, if you want to meet a lot of professional men there's probably no place better place to go than happy hour at an upscale bar. Clean, professional, good men go to bars like this frequently.
I know because I used to do it all the time myself.
You may be avoiding bars and clubs, and I totally get it - most of them suck.
BUT there are plenty of classy pubs, microbreweries, wine bars, restaurants, etc., that have really nice bars and really nice clientele.
Men are scared of approaching women. They hate being rejected.
And let's face it, a little alcohol can help him find his courage to reach out and make a connection. You just have to have the constitution to deal with some of the occasional losers.
In terms of concentration, and efficiency of time, just sitting at a bar will get you plenty of interest from various guys. You might find yourself in some pretty decent conversation, too.
Hey, you don't have to date them all. In fact you don't have to date any of them.
But sometimes you might need a little validation. And you never know what kind of connections you'll make. (See number 6 below)
#5: Coffee shops - but not like you might think
I'm sure you've heard this particular location show up on a lot of "where to find men" lists. With good reason, it's a great place to meet people in general.
But one way you might not of thought of is to hang out at the coffee shop for a little while.
I go to a coffee shop twice a week to work. I sit there for about three hours or so. During that time, even in the small town I live in, at least 30 people file through. (And it's not a Starbucks.)
And that's not counting the people sitting there having conversations and being social.
So the longer you stay in a particular location with a lot of foot traffic, the more likely you are to see new people, and maybe meet new people. If you have the time, you should spend a little time in a place that you wouldn't mind hanging out in.
You'll increase your chances of meeting new people dramatically. (Especially when you compare it to sitting at home)
#6: You know, your phone
Look, these days you can do just about anything on your phone. You can buy cosmetics, sign up for events, take a class, just about anything really.
Interestingly enough though, most women really want to avoid online dating.
The number one reason why most women don't want to date online is: She would rather know a little bit about the guy she's going to meet then taking him for face value from a profile.
Hey, I get it. That's TOTALLY reasonable!
The truth of the matter is, a lot of our friend's referrals aren't much better than an online profile.
If you are against online dating, it's unlikely I'm going to change your mind here.
But if you're on the fence, or feel neutral about it, you should seriously consider using online dating.
Men and women meet online
Men and women date after meeting online
Men and women get married after meeting and dating online
Dating online does work. And it's an extremely efficient and effective way to meet people.
I used it for years, and I'm fairly experienced with the process. Yes, I realize it's different for women, but if you educate yourself as to how it works, and take a few simple precautions, you will have very few problems.
I find that most women avoid online dating primarily out of fear from stories they heard - ironically - online. Or "my mother's sister's best friend's dog's hairstylist dated a guy once online, and he took her money."
Which of course is kind of ridiculous. The stories always get exaggerated.
There's a lot of opinion out there with very few people gathering the facts... Again, I'm not here to contend about which is better - only that you need not be as scared as the media would like you to be.
#7: Umm... Pretty Much Anywhere!
I don't want you to feel that this article was a waste, And yet I still have to tell you that everywhere you go has the potential to meet someone new.
If you've ever seen the movie "Yes-man" with Jim Carrey, you might have an idea of why this works so well. The more you open yourself up to saying yes to things, the more your life seems to blossom.
And yes the more men you will meet everywhere you go.
Where You DON'T Want To Go To Meet Guys
A list like this wouldn't be complete unless I told you some places you probably don't want to go to meet guys.
But really, there's just not a lot of places you can't go and meet a guy. Men are everywhere. Strike up a conversation!
I once met someone while waiting for my bus home from San Francisco. I struck up a conversation, and we were dating not long after that.
THIS is more important than where you go...
Very often we get hung up on the technicalities of doing something instead of finding the energy to go do it.
I used to ask my mentor a lot of questions about "what do I do if..." - lots of situations I was trying to either predict or protect myself with knowledge.
He would tell me:
"You know what, go out and and try everything I've shown you. If you run into that, you can call me up anytime day or night and we will handle it. For now cross that bridge when you come to it."
And you know what?
He was right. I was just trying to protect myself with questions about situations because I was afraid of the unpredictable.
So even when some women ask "Where do I go to meet guys?", what they're really saying is:
"Please say something I've already tried so I can shoot it down. Then I can go back to doing nothing and complaining about my situation..."
YOWCH! Carlos, that was harsh...!
Sorry, but it's also true in many ways. It's the unspoken truth of the women (and men) out there that won't take charge of their love life.
More important than where you go is what you do.
Remember what I said?
Men are everywhere. Strike up a conversation!
Don't try to make up excuses in advance, just get out there and make a mess.
If you find that you're embarrassed or shy, and THAT is the first thing to start working on. Because THAT is the only thing that's blocking you from meeting more men! (Not because you don't have more places to go.)
Just remember, Carlos is the guy that will tell you the truth to get you what you want. Not blow smoke up your skirt.
Don't read this article as if it were just entertainment. Read it because it's a man telling you exactly how to get what you want.
You might find that all you're really doing in the end is trying to find a way to not face your fears. And honestly, most people live their whole lives that way.
More important than where you go is what you do when you're with a guy who's worth getting to know.
Do you know how to connect with him?
Do you know how to get him interested in you?
Do you know what he's looking for in a partner?
You know how to communicate with a guy?
If you hesitated or answer no to any of those questions, you need to learn how to really connect with men. And it's not hard at all.
Once you know his connection code the rest is easy.
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