Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily - 7 Reasons - And How To Stop!
By: Carlos Cavallo
If you've ever wondered "Why do I fall in love so easily?" then you may have experienced more than your fair share of heartbreak.
Is HE my soulmate...?
Love is a magical, mystical force of the universe - and probably the most important thing to understand. Sometimes we fall in love with someone too fast, though, and that can lead to a lot of pain.
You may be dating someone that you have a lot in common with...
Sometimes the sex (aka, lust) is awesome...
Sometimes they just seem like just the person (and relationship) you've been waiting for...
But that doesn't mean that they are your soulmate, or that this is a magical connection. And sometimes it is just lust, not love.
Here are some warning signs you should look for in my:
Why Do I Fall In Love So Quickly Quiz:
Do you occasionally find yourself feeling a deep emotional stirring for someone on the first date?
Are you easily charmed by warm people?
Do you frequently start thinking of a future with someone you've just met or been on one date with?
Do you have one night stands because you believe there's a special "connection" with someone?
Do you really struggle with men who frequently disappear from your life after only one or two dates?
Do you really *REALLY* want a relationship and a family...?
Do you often describe yourself as a "hopeless romantic"?
Are you a "Love Quote" addict? Do you read a lot of love poetry?
Do you passionately believe in "love at first sight"?
If you notice that you fit one or more of those signs, then this article is definitely for you.
What we're going to do is break down the major reasons and causes of falling in love quickly so you can get your heart steady for The One who's the RIGHT one for you!
"Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily?" - 7 Reasons You Never Knew
Reason 1: Your heart is starving - for love...
When I was dating in my 20s, I had a hungry heart.
Which meant I was really aching for love in a big way. I wanted a girlfriend, as well as a deep, fulfilling dating relationship with someone.
You might feel like this. And when your heart is this love-starved, you start to make some dating relationships look promising, even when they're not.
You really just want to be in a relationship so bad that most guys you date look hopeful - even if they're not.
Another part of a starving heart is that you may also have a slight addiction to the process of falling in love because of all the lust brain hormones that get released. Who doesn't love that juicy feeling of falling in love? It's thrilling and euphoric!
The feelings of lust versus love also very distorted - and unrealistic to maintain.
But still, some people get addicted to that lust sensation.
If you know your heart is particularly sensitive and looking to be filled, you should try to find a good balance of all areas of your life to help keep you from falling in love too easily while you're dating.
Focus on your own mind, body, and spirit - while working to keep your community of friendships alive and vibrant.
Reason 2: You Need Balance...
Just like when our hearts are hungry, we often look to relationships to fulfill the emptiness inside ourselves. Sometimes this is just to get a sense of calm and peace that we haven't been able to find in life.
You can have it all...
If you find yourself frequently trying to soothe your anxiety with relationships, you may have some things that need to get worked out.
Remember when I told you that I was love-starved in my 20s? Well, that was only half of it. I was seeking a deep romantic relationships with someone as a cure for the damaged parts of me.
What I didn't know then was that I would never have a truly fulfilling relationship until I took care of those parts of me in need of repair.
This is true for everyone!
I've never seen a dating relationship truly establish a solid foundation of true love until both of the people in it start to work on their unresolved junk. (i.e., "issues")
You have to find a sense of internal balance to ground yourself, or you will keep falling in love quickly with men. And sometimes - with the wrong men!
Reason 3: You've Got Disney-phrenia...
Look, we all love a good fairy tale. They formed some of our most idealistic and hopeful visions of love as kids. They also gave us an understanding of the power of healthy love vs lust.
Some day my prince will come...
And yet these same fairy tales and "princess movies" also distort the truth of dating and love like a warped mirror. These fairy tale stories and movies are also very limited when it comes to describing reality.
The fact is that there are far more myths about love and relationships than there are truths.
The myths are always waiting to mislead us.
We have to be able to see where our idealistic view of love may lead us astray in the search for love.
Take a good close look at your beliefs about love, lust, dating, and relationships.
If you really want to get to the heart of this, sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of all the things you "believe" about love.
Really empty your brain of all the things you think are "myths" and truths so you can see if they all hold up under the light of scrutiny.
You'll discover that they don't seem quite as realistic when you put them down on paper.
Reason 4: You've Got A Blueprint...
One of the more counter-intuitive reasons you might fall for someone too easily is that you have very high standards for the kind of guy you want in your life. You might think that it's the opposite - that someone who falls in love often must have pretty low standards.
But that's not usually the case.
How do I know if he's The One...?
Many people think that love happens because of what's happening on the outside -
You meet a new guy
You have fun together (lust hits you)
You connect with each other
You fall for him...
So all of that MUST have been because you met the Right Guy... right?
But what's really happening is that while you're dating someone, you're checking to see if all the signs and signals you're getting match your inner blueprint of "love" - instead of just lust.
We all developed a specific "blueprint" of our ideal partner. It's a product of our childhood, the movies we watched, our parents as role models (or not), and a ton of other different preferences we stored away in our hearts.
You have a very clear "imprint" in your soul for the person you believe is your soulmate.
Which means you should know what your blueprint is before you start dating someone. If you don't, you'll probably fall in love (probably more "lust") with guys much too fast. Because when someone you're dating matches your blueprint, your heart is going to swing wide open for him.
Reason 5: It's A Strategy...
While men are often highlighted as being "commitment phobes" and "afraid of intimacy," the truth is that women are just as likely to avoid true depth in their relationships with men.
Before you start writing me a nasty email - hear me out...
Women are wide open in the early stages of dating, whereas men are not focused on starting up a relationship until a little later. That's just his natural timeline. It's not dysfunctional or "wrong" at all. It's simply the way guys are.
But a common pattern is that many women jump headfirst into romance, and then inevitably rushing into a breakup. This ends the relationship before she had to get truly vulnerable.
So before you label someone as having "intimacy issues," take a look at the patterns in your relationships and see if there are cycles you are repeating as well.
Reason 6: You may have an addictive personality...
Love, like any other potent and euphoric experience, can be habit forming!
The science of love...
Addictive love is an unconscious attempt to satisfy our developmental hunger for security, feelings, power, identity, belonging, and meaning in our lives.
Remember that, yes, every emotion you feel may be REAL...
HOWEVER - not every emotion you experience was caused by something real!
Our emotions are created by what we're thinking each and every waking moment.
Emotions just don't pop into our head and hearts and hijack us. (Well, only in very rare neurological disorders.)
Keeping our feelings in this kind of perspective allows us to stop before an emotion (or a desire for an emotion or feeling) takes us over and consumes us. It also stops lust from appearing as love.
Having emotional perspective is the key to avoiding our most self-destructive relationships.
Reason 7: Pump The Brakes - And Look Around...
Sometimes we fall for someone simply because of a lack of options. Loneliness is easier when shared.
And yet you still need to be willing to slow things down a bit. Every so often, put the brakes on with your dating and just take in what's happening in THIS moment.
Time to slow down.
Spend a weekend alone to see what pulls on you more - his absence, or the wash of good feelings that comes from the feeling of being IN love.
Shut off your hopes for the future...
Take in the view - this guy, your feelings, your whole life...
Be willing to see the flaws and where you might be ignoring the problems...
Ultimately, love is tricky. And who knows what the best "speed" is for falling in love?
Hey, even if you do fall a little faster than most people - or faster than you might like - that doesn't mean that you're not having a great experience, too.
I believe we're all here to experience the world - and the universe - in our own unique and fantastic way. And for someone like you that might mean big tenderness in our hearts.
If you're someone that does fall in love easily, I'd like to celebrate that.
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