The one way you can be sure you've got a guy under your spell is if you know how to turn him on. And since I'm a guy, I can tell you better than any woman can about what it takes to turn a guy on.
Of course, when women ask me "How do I turn him on?" - what she really wants to know is how to grab his attention and make him want her like nothing else. (and no ONE else!) If you can get him feeling that kind of sexual attraction for you, you can get almost any guy to fall in love with you.
Now at the risk of sounding over simplistic, there are two kinds of things you can do to turn him on:
That may sound obvious, but it's not. First of all, the BIG things are the things you can do that are fairly obvious. Like leading him on physically, or sending him sexts. Let's be real, it doesn't take a whole lot to actually arouse a guy's libido.
But once you get over the age of 30, that method of flirting with a guy can seem a little too obvious - and uncomfortable to use. You kind of outgrow it.
Some women don't feel they have the physique to pull off texting him racy pictures. And some of the things that you might hear used in sexting just sound creepy.
I get it - they just feel like the desperate attempts of an insecure teenager. (And honestly, most of the other sites out there talk about tips that only work for desperate teenagers.) You don't need to be vulgar to win him into your bed.
And when it comes to the little things, you might worry that he just won't get it. He might completely miss what you're doing. And guys are kind of oblivious to subtle flirting and seduction.
Both the little and the big things work - and that's what I'm going to show you here in this article...
It's been said that "men think about sex about 8000 times per day." There was even a scientific "study" that supposedly showed this.
The problem is - there is no such study. And the number 8000 is completely made up.
Yup, it's an urban legend.
The truth is that a survey was completed studying men and women between 18 and 25 years old. (Yeah, it's always done on college students - they're the ones that need the beer money.) So take this with a grain of salt, since we know how college kids think.
The results of this study?
The median number of sexual thoughts for MEN was 18.6 - and for WOMEN it was 9.9.
So for the quick-and-dirty interpretation, men think about sexy-time about twice as much as women do. Which isn't really all that surprising, is it? But it is FAR from the ridiculous 8,000 times a day number that someone made up.
The reality is that making anyone fantasize about another person is going to make them want to turn into reality after a while. If you know about my "crystallization effect" - you know that men will fall in love with women who they think about all day long.
So a great way to turn him on is to turn on his fantasy machine - his brain!
Just send him a text of a sexy dream you had about him... or a sexy fantasy of yours. And ask him to finish it...
Or send him a link to a really arousing bit of erotica online somewhere...
Or send him an email with hints about the next time you two can get together...
Don't underestimate the power of a man's imagination when it comes to turning him on.
Turn Him On #2: Always When You Can't...
One of the most powerful of the lost arts of seduction is the art of TEASING a man. I talk about this quite a bit in my articles, videos, and programs for women.
If there's one thing you must understand it's that people really do respond to The Law Of Hard To Get. This law simply states that we want whatever we cannot have. Mother nature has seen fit to instill this in our brains since the dawn of humans.
This law is so strong, in fact, that even ANIMALS respond to the Law of Hard-to-Get!
Have you ever played with a cat before? Maybe it was a laser pointer or with that fuzzy blob on a string.
Whatever the method, you know how it works: You put the toy out there for the cat, it chases it.
But if you don't yank it away before the cat can catch it, kitty loses interest. If you keep the red dot moving, or the cat toy bouncing, kitty stays very focused and chases it.
This plays on a primitive part of a cat's mind - it's his hunting instinct. This is the part of a cat's mind that lives for the chase of its prey.
This method of play also works on a man's mind for the exact same reason.
All you do to use this one to your advantage is to tease him a bit.
Flash him when you're out somewhere in public and only he can see...
Or maybe you whisper something naughty in his ear about what you two will be doing later when you get home...
Or you grab his butt when he can't do anything about it...
It's when a guy is given an opportunity he can't pounce on that he becomes keenly excited and attentive - waiting for the opportunity when he can!
Turn That Guy On #3: Treat Him Like Meat...
Guys find themselves all too often stuck on the side of being the DEMAND in the sexual marketplace. We are the demand, and women are the supply. And this has been the dynamic between men and women for hundreds of thousands of years. (And yes, for all you science nerds out there, it's this way in the animal kingdom too.)
So when a guy gets this role reversed on him, it can be a real turn on for him.
The best way to do this to a guy is to simply give him the look-over. Yeah, you know what I mean. There's that look a guy gives you when he's really appreciating your ... er... assets. He might look you up and down.
Well, it's perfectly fine for you to give that look back to him - assuming you appreciate him physically.
Simply find any time where you can check him out visually - and let him know you're doing it. A full body scan, or even a little "touchy feely" to adjust his tie or straighten his shirt is something that he WILL notice.
And believe me it will get him excited and turned on.
And again, the best timing is always when he can't do anything about it. That dials the sexual tension up to "11" for him.
Just wait til you get home!
Turn Him On #4: Wear It Like You Mean It...
The single best thing you can do to turn him on is to work your wardrobe to reflect your best. You don't need to be a supermodel or be 100 lbs soaking wet to get him hot for you. (In fact, most guys will tell you that skinny girls don't really do it when it comes to visual turn-ons.)
Here are the ground rules for dressing up to undress your man:
Wear black. Black is sexy. It slims you, and it has a hint of taboo about it...
Wear heels. They always make your legs look better. I know, sometimes painful - but they work...
Wear your hair down. Guys prefer hair down to up, for the simple reason that it's overtly feminine and wild...
Show off the B&B. That's boobs & butt. And legs, preferably a little above the knee. When a guy gets to see cleavage, a round caboose, or those gams - it's going to start his engine. (Did I really need to tell you this one?)
Ultimately, make sure you wear what makes YOU feel sexy FIRST. It's your attitude that will carry the day when it comes to turning him on the most.
Every man has had the experience of just hanging out casually with a certain woman who just carried herself like a seductive siren. She owns the room when she walks in - mostly because of her attitude radiating.
But when you add in a hot look, she's unstoppable.
Turn Him On Without Touching #5: The Nose KNOWS...
Perfumes are a very advanced tool for you, but only if you understand how men respond to these fragrances.
This is an area that most women make a VERY big mistake. As a man, I'll reveal that the biggest mistake most women make is using WAY too much perfume.
Now, I will confess that I have an excellent sense of smell, so I may have a bit of a sensitivity. But the fact remains that at least half the women I've dated who wear perfume have overdone it.
And it's probably an innocent mistake created when you assume that if a little is good, a lot must be better. But it doesn't work that way.
The old rule of putting a hint of perfume on the back of your neck, and a slight amount on your wrists is just about the right amount.
If you're spraying your perfume, you might consider spraying it on a card and then applying it to your skin in a way you can control. You really don't want perfume saturating your wardrobe, or your hair.
You see, a guy would actually prefer the slightly musky smell of your skin to the perfume. And most perfumes are designed to respond to your natural body scent to give you a unique smell.
The point of perfume is to give him something to entice him back after he's gotten close enough to catch a hint of it the first time.
But do use the magical attraction power of a good perfume. Take your time choosing it, and get feedback from a guy you can trust.
Turn Him On #6: Touch - AND GO...
By far, the supreme weapons of mass seduction a woman possesses are these last two "Turn-on Tools."
Never underestimate the power of touching a guy the right way at the right time. A light touch with your fingers will get him hot for you like nothing else you can do. (Well, maybe...)
Here are a few hints for how to touch him:
Make sure you only touch for a second or two at most. The longer you touch him beyond 2 seconds, the less this works to turn him on...
Touch to accent what you're telling him. When you want something you're saying to really stand out to him, just touch his arm for a short second...
Touch confidently. Don't just tap him, give him a warm touch that lasts about 1 second...
Make it warm, not cold. Sometimes your hands might be a bit chilly to the touch. This can still be very provocative to him, but you should try to warm up your skin so that he feels it.
A hand on his leg is a powerful turn-on for a guy, so use it sparingly. Just touch his leg, on the top of his thigh. Not TOO close to Mr. Happy. Every inch of his body will tingle when you do this right...
Again, it's been my experience that most women misunderstand the refined and sophisticated use of touch when it comes to men. This is a topic I cover much more completely in my dating & relationship programs.
Turn Him On Without Touching #7: And Then There Was THE WORD...
This last "Turn On Tool" is super effective for getting a man drawn to you with irresistible Desire.
It's the use of WORDS to get him fascinated and obsessed with you. And it happens to be one weapon that you are much better at than he will ever be.
Most guys never developed a vocabulary of emotion when they were younger. It's not something that boys are brought up to really have.
Remember that the goal to turn a guy on is to be SEXY - not 'SEXUAL' with him.
Sexy is power that you possess, and it makes you desirable without you even trying. If you're TRYING, then you're failing when it comes to turning him on with sexual wiles.
And the best way to be sexy for a guy is to activate his sexual nature, without being overtly trampy.
One way you can do this is through the power of "double meanings." Guys are very easy to provoke with words and phrases that sound like they're talking about "dirty" topics, but really aren't.
For example, you could say something like this in person or in a text:
"If you want to meet up, I'm wide open later on..."
Then you can follow that up with: "Oops! That sounded really naughty!" (Giggle)
Guys love coming up with their own little "dirty thoughts." Most women act disgusted at this, but if you embrace it you can use the power of the "Double Meaning" to get him to think what you want.
He won't think it because you told him to - but he will if he comes up with it on his own! Guys LOVE being teased this way.
The best way to make a man feel draw to you and obsessed with you is always with words.
With words, you can steer his experience in whatever direction you like...
With words, you can make him feel the emotions you want... (WHEN you want!)
With words, you can make him think about you even if he's thousands of miles away...
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