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Relationship Tips & Advice
The truth is you're probably here reading this right now because you're not sure if your man loves you. You're looking for signs he loves you deeply.
One of the skills I teach women is how to read a man signs. Because you want to be able to interpret how he's acting - and understand what he's feeling.
First off, you probably wonder why don't men tell you they love you more. The fact is that men simply don't express their emotions as often as women do.
Now, that should be enough of an answer. It's a fact. Men don't express the same way women do.
But almost every single woman wishes he would. And probably wants to change a guy so that he will.
If you cling to this desire for men to behave like you - or other women - you will always be unhappy. The key to finding happiness with a man is to understand that he will never do everything the way you want him to.
If you try to change him, he will probably leave eventually.
Most men would talk more about their feelings if they felt safe doing so. I'm going to come back to this in a bit because it's such an important point that you don't want to miss it.
A lot of men are nervous about revealing their emotions because they are afraid of saying them wrong. He does want to express love, he just never wants to look like a fool for doing so.
And if you think about it, what would him saying he loves you really prove?
Can you believe every word a man says? You know that you can't. Not because "every man is a liar," but because he won't always express every emotion he feels.
So ultimately the best way to figure out if he loves you - deeply loves you - is to know how to read him better than he knows himself.
Let's get into the signs right now…
One of the best signs a man is deeply in love with you and into you is when he is the one seeking more physical contact. (PDA is "public displays of affection")
When a man is affectionate physically, that means he is also emotionally connected to you.
A man equates love with physical intimacy.
Which means that if he doesn't feel physically connected to you, he's going to feel unsafe and disconnected. And he's going to put up walls between you.
And yes this also means sexually. This is where many women make a huge mistake.
When you withhold any kind of sexual intimacy from your man, he will interpret it to mean that you do not love him. He gets this message right away, even if it's not the message you're intending to send.
There's a great scene in a movie where a man and a woman are shown in their therapy sessions. Each is talking to their therapist separately.
MAN: "We hardly have sex at all. Like three times a week."
WOMAN: "We have sex all the time. Like three times a week."
It's a perfect example of how men and women think differently about sex. Our appetites are different, and our interpretations are different.
So when a man is trying to get more physical affection than you, you can bet that he is deeply in love and wants that connection.
One of the things a man has a hard time controlling is his gaze. You've probably experienced this when he looks at other women, sure.
But you should also be on alert for when he's looking at you that way. You'd be surprised, he's probably doing it more often than you think. If you're not tuned in and watching for it, you could miss it.
If you catch him staring at you for no reason, that's a sign he's feeling drawn to you, and attracted to you.
That deep love is still there.
Guys are typically very focused on their own hobbies. But he also wants to know that you have your own.
When he is interested in your hobbies, you can be sure his love for you is deeply felt.
If he's asking you questions about the things you like to do, make sure you capitalize on these conversations. Talk about them in detail. Don't short-circuit them because you're trying to avoid attention, the way you might do it with other women.
Remember conversation with men is always going to be much different than it will be with women. You have to start retraining yourself to respond differently if you want men to respond differently to you.
Sure enough, one of the better signs that he's deeply in love is that he will share in the housework.
Which is why you are probably more miffed when he doesn't do it. Instinctively you know that he should be helping you out if he's in the relationship all the way.
When either or both of you are not sharing in the responsibilities of being together, that's a warning sign that you are withdrawing behind a wall of grudge. Pulling back your effort is one of the warning signs that your relationship could be in trouble.
Guys will jump in and do housework when they feel connected and loved in return.
One of the things that motivates men more than anything else in a relationship is making a woman happy.
If you read any of my articles or watch any of my videos, you know this to be a fact. It's a primary motivation for men.
So if you have a heated conversation and he keeps returning to you to check in somehow, interpret that to mean he is still there in the relationship with you. He's still got that love.
He might show up with a token of affection, maybe some food, or a complement. What he's trying to do is bridge the gap between you.
If he isn't returning, this could be a warning sign.
A funny little way that men show their endearment is when he comes up with a little pet nickname for you. It's like "love shorthand." It's a way of him expressing love in a way that you probably miss.
One way you can find out if he's deeply in love with you is if he demonstrates effort towards making the relationship work.
Of course, the problem is that most women don't always spot the effort a man makes to make it work. Mostly because she's looking in a different direction.
A few of the ways that men pay their dues to make a relationship work:
Again you might not recognize these for what they are. Be open to a man expressing love in a way that is different from you - or other women.
A lot of men will rebound fairly quickly after an argument.
According to a 2016 Harvard study, women hold grudges and stay angry longer than men do. This may not be a surprise to you. Guys tend to return to the relationship connection much faster than women do.
Be open to reconciling quicker. You may be tempted to hold onto your anger longer, but don't do it.
If you're still not ready, you can explain to him that you "need a little more time," but you can also take solace in knowing that if he comes back to you looking to mend or heal, that's deep love.
Men can be very protective, and in different ways. If a guy is being protective of you, it's a good sign that he's feeling strong connective love for you.
It's a significant way that men express their feelings of connection for you.
Don't misinterpret him as trying to control you. These are genuine signs that he has deep feelings of love, and he wants to make sure that you are safe.
Men are very focused on your physical safety.
Guys will make small sacrifices to make the bigger relationship work.
Here are a few of the ways he might do that:
Again, it's very tempting to see a man's efforts as begrudging or reluctant if he's not excited to do them. But you have to give him credit for when he does them anyways. Especially if you know it's not something he particularly wants to do.
When a man feels safe in a relationship, he is going to reveal more things about himself and his history.
Sometimes he's testing you to see if you will hold this space lovingly. He'll start with a small confession, and then if he feels good about how it was received he will go on to show you and tell you more.
You can even speed this process up a little bit by asking questions about his past. You might want to start by revealing something of yourself first, and then asking the question of him.
Men keep their cards close to their vest. But when you start to see him relax his protection, you'll know that deeper love is starting to grow between you.
Early on in your relationship you might notice that the talk is fairly superficial. You both just talk about the fun stuff for the most part.
What will prove to you that your love is growing deeper is when he starts initiating more conversations about a wider variety of topics. This is a man's way of deepening the relationship.
The conversations may swing from light and fluffy to deep and heavy. But the point is to have as many talks as he wants to initiate.
When a man feels comfortable enough to talk to you like this, he's showing you the depth of his emotions.
Remember that no matter how busy a man is, he must make time for you. Or you are not really part of his life.
There is no exception to this rule. If he is not making time for you, then he is not prioritizing you. This can swing out of kilter temporarily, but it must swing back to giving you time if it's going to stay love.
This is one of the hardest things to confront when you're in a relationship with a man. And it's one of the biggest signs of deep love.
When he gives you more of his time, that's like him giving of himself. Men value their time more than anything. And he will spend it with someone he truly cares for.
One of the ways a man knows that you are deeply in love with him is when he feels safe in your presence.
And, funny enough, you know you are deeply in love when you feel safe around him. You feel a sense of protection around you like a force field.
One of his biological drives is to protect you as his partner. It's an evolutionary drive that he never lost.
If you feel safe enough and protected enough to do things that are outside your comfort zone, chances are you feel well loved. Love gives us a stable base from which to take on new things and new experiences.
An important trait of a real man is his ability to keep his promises. And this is especially true in his relationships.
If he makes you a promise he should keep it with you. That's a very important sign of deep love and connection.
Even if a guy falls back on his word because of circumstance, he will make it up to you. Somehow he will come through and make it up.
Something else it's very important is that he probably won't make promises lightly either. A man knows that he's obligated to his word, so he's going to be careful how often he gives it out.
You ever feel like you are letting your inner crazy out?
Every woman does every once in a while. Sometimes it's that time of the month, sometimes you've just been pushed too far, sometimes life just makes you nuts.
Your man should understand this and be okay with it.
Now it's true that men today aren't as educated about the ways of women as they once were. And women aren't educated to the ways of men, either.
However, if he is really truly and deeply in love with you, he will find a way to handle your crazy. And he will deal with the toughest parts of you.
You won't always be overjoyed at the craziness, but his love for you will carry him through it.
But one thing you should consider: Don't be high maintenance.
His love should carry some amount of patience with it, but that doesn't mean you get to unload and drive him insane either.
If you notice a lot of things coming up in your relationship where you feel this craziness come out, it might be a good idea to seek some professional help to work yourself through those issues.
Remember that love also has a balance in the love bank account. You don't want to make too many withdrawals at his expense, right?
By the way, if PMS is an issue for you, make sure you explain that to him as well. A man doesn't understand how this works for women that undergo extreme hormonal and emotional pressures.
Explain to him what to expect, and when your time is coming - if you can alert him. Because a man will not put two and two together on his own, and he might think that this is completely out of the blue. He should know what's going on so he understands and can give you space.
Of course there is a difference between "grumpy" and "hormonal terror." Hopefully you know where you live on that scale, and you can tell him so that he understands.
Sometimes we fall into judging behavior in our relationships. What's dangerous is when we judge our partner too often.
When he loves you deeply, he will not judge you or make you feel judged.
If, however, your personalities are not well matched or you are not compatible, that judgy-ness will probably show up frequently. And that's a warning sign that you may be in love, but you cannot be in a relationship with this person.
Notice yourself when you judge him...
These are all warning signs of a relationship that could be turning unhealthy.
The man who is deeply in love with you will put aside his preconceptions of who you are, and who he needs you to be. Remember that a healthy relationship is based on not needing to change the other person at all.
That's a lot easier said than most people can do.
While most men may not use your advice, if he really deeply loves you he will at least hear your advice and thank you for it. You need him to be appreciative for these little gifts.
But do be careful that you don't need him to take your advice in order to feel good about giving it. Most men need to explore their own options first.
And of course, it goes without saying, don't ever say "I told you so!" if he doesn't take your advice either.
I will tell you that most men find it difficult to take advice. And most men cannot take advice when they are angry or in a down emotional state.
Just like you...
So don't offer advice when he is not in a position to accept it. instead, just let him vent. The same way you would want him to let you vent if you felt a lot of strong emotions that needed to get out.
It goes without saying that a relationship means you're both together. Kind of like being in the same car together.
And just as important as being in the same car is heading in the same direction. On the same road together.
A lot of couples assume that just because they're in a relationship this means they are sharing the same goals, dreams, and aspirations. And it's only many years down the road that they discover they never really talked about it.
Falling in love is easy. Falling in love and then transitioning that love into a relationship that stands the test of time is hard.
It's time we started focusing on the most important part of relationships: The work that's needed to make it work.
Funny enough, it's not really all that hard to make sure you're going in the same direction. Most women are all too happy to share the journey.
The one thing they forget to do, or simply don't know how to do, is really connect with a man. That's the most essential step in sharing the ride together.
If you want to make it work, you gotta know how to really make him see you as his Forever Woman.
When you do that, he will be yours forever as well.
You'll discover exactly how to do it.