Connection is something that a woman's emotional system is tuned for. A woman knows when she's got a good connection with a friend and when she doesn't.
You're put on "high-alert"...
And when it comes to a love interest, women are constantly on alert for any changes that tell her there's a problem with the connection. If your man doesn't feel "connected" to you, and you sense it in your gut, you know to trust that feeling.
"When you start feeling "invisible" to him, you know there's something more you need..." - Carlos Cavallo
So what is he thinking when he gets to the IGNORING phase?
Let's explore some of the things that a man might be feeling when he gets to this place:
What A Man Is Thinking When He Ignores You: You goofed...
If a man gets hurt by you, yeah - he's going to pull back or withdraw.
The good thing about this one is that you'll know you did it. There will be no question in your head about "Did I say something wrong?" or "Did I goof?"
You'll know it.
So if you're wondering if you did or said something wrong, you probably didn't actually goof.
It's more likely the next reason:
What A Man Is Thinking When He Ignores You: He's Spooked...
To put it bluntly, you scared him with your behavior.
Now, there are a few ways you can spook a guy:
1. You spooked him by turning into a Cling-on...
No, I don't mean you're a Klingon from the "Star Trek" TV show. I mean that he feels you're too "clingy" and perhaps a bit too needy.
In football, if one team jumps across the line too soon towards the opposing team, it's called "off sides." And it comes with a penalty.
The same thing happens in relationships.
If you jumped the gun by asking a question or hinting at moving forward faster than he was ready, you may get hit with an "off sides" penalty from your man. He'll pull back, as if to say "Whoah there, nelly! Commitment police - pull over!"
And this is not necessarily a bad thing. A man does need to know that things have to move toward a commitment. That will set him up to think about your relationship the right way.
Are you moving things along too quickly?
HOWEVER, if you push the long-term relationship/commitment part too quickly, it will freak him out and he will ignore you.
The problem is, of course, that some guys will simply not help you move forward. And you'll feel like you're pushing him no matter what.
The key is to make sure you're engaging his "move forward" emotions as much as you can. I'll tell you how to do that in a bit...
3. You spooked him by changing...
A man expects that the woman he meets at the start is who you really are.
If you find yourself changing your behavior to accommodate a relationship, or what you think he wants to approve of you, and then change later - that's going to freak him the F out.
It's one of men's top complaints about their relationship:
ACTING SWEET TO GET A MAN, THEN CHANGING AFTER.
A woman should not start out playing the super-girlfriend role at the beginning, and then change. It’s better you present yourself as you are and get everything out in the open. It just plain feels more honest.
When a woman changes her entire way of being after the relationship gets going, we men feel as though we've been tricked. Duped.
Played the fool.
Suddenly, we don't know what to believe anymore. AND we feel we can’t really trust the woman.
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde
When this happens, a man is going to pull back. You won't be his focus anymore because he'll feel a bit betrayed.
Some women explain a man's behavior as him "holding back" his feelings. This is only true when he feels he has a legitimate REASON to not pursue.
Which really means that he doesn't feel enough for you yet!
Remember Carlos' BIG RULE about relationships:
If a guy is genuinely attracted and interested in you, he will make you a priority.
If he's not into you, he'll keep pushing you away. Men don't run around in a tug-of-war over their emotions. Men don't hold back if we're really into you.
It does NOT happen...!
So stop using that as an excuse. As in: "He's just so confused and he loves me so much that he can't find a way to act on it..."
That is not how men work.
What you have to be able to do is make a man so obsessed with you that he loses any doubts about you...
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