We all want a little hope if we can get back together with our partner. When a guy breaks up with you, you're looking for anything to give you some hope. Is he giving you signs he wants you back but won't admit it?
Let's face it - no one really has a friendly breakup. You know, where each of you wishes the other one well and you both just give each other their stuff back in nicely packed boxes. You move on, calling to check in on them every few weeks.
It's a hard feeling to contain. When you find out that someone you used to date is now seeing someone else, you feel a powerful kind of emotional NO WAY! that really eats at you.
I remember when I was in my early 20s, and I'd been dating someone that I thought I would marry. Her name was Kris, and I was SO into her.
Until she started having second thoughts. And then our relationship went down the proverbial toilet.
The green-eyed monster makes a visit...
She eventually dumped me. All I could do was swing from extreme sadness to total jealousy at who would actually get to be with her next. Everything from thinking about the times we shared, to the times I'd never have again. (And a lot of imagining her in bed with a new guy...)
Lucky this was before the age of Facebook and all that craziness. I only had my imagination to tell me what was happening with her.
Jealousy is a pretty universal experience. We've all felt it at some point. And chances are that you felt kinda gross about it too.
I was jealous of Kris' new guy - and there wasn't even any evidence of a new guy to be jealous OF!
So when your guy starts TRYING to make you jealous, you can be sure it's a sign he wants you back. Because if the other person was with a new person they were happy with, they'd never stop to let you know. They'd just go on with their happiness and forget about you.
And when he starts making catty, jealous comments about you and your life, you can be sure he's still wants you back and maybe he is scared to show it.
Sign #2: The check-ins are frequent...
One of the other signs that tell you he hasn't moved on - and maybe wants you back but won't admit it - is when he is checking in on you frequently.
This can be as simple as him texting you with: "Hey, how are you doing?"
Calling just to say "hello"...?
He's obviously trying to start a conversation up with you. And there might even be a part of him that's trying to get you to ask him how HE is doing.
The sad part of a breakup that we almost never see is that - even if he broke up with you - he's also going through the withdrawal process. He's probably coming to the realization that you are not there to go with him to all that stuff you used to do together. There's a big hole in his life right now.
This is going to make him want to see what you're up to.
And just like you might find it pretty tough to resist the urge to check in on him, he's going to feel that same need to see what you're up to.
It could just be a way to make himself feel better, but it's more likely his need to feel what it's like with you in his life again.
He might text- or call. Or just show up...
If you notice that he's in your world a lot more, that's a good indication he's still into you, and he's looking to find a way to reconnect.
Yeah, the one thing that will kick a guy's ass into gear and make him change is the fear of loss.
Truth be told, we ALL respond to that fear.
So what you might see is a sign from him that he's "changed." He'll probably also want you to see it - which means he'll be showing it off. He'll be posting pictures all over his social media accounts.
He's getting his act together...
If it was his fault that things weren't working out with you, there's a chance he'll come to his senses when he's on his own and trying to come to terms that he screwed things up.
And that's when he'll not only reach out to check in with you, he'll start to tell you about the things he's doing to improve his situation.
Might be going back to school...
Might be getting a better job...
Might be moving out of his mom's basement... (Please, I am really hoping this is not your situation.)
It might even be as simple as getting out and exercising, or reading a few books.
You'll see that there's a distinct effort on his part to get on the self-improvement bandwagon.
If he makes a sincere attempt to impress you with his life upgrades, you can be sure that he's subtly trying to win you back. Yeah, he wants you back but won't admit it.
Sign #4: He hasn't cut you out ... completely.
If a guy is intent on breaking things off for good, he's going to try to purge you out of his life completely. Most guys have a low threshold for re-visiting their past mistakes. He won't want to accidentally run into you in real life, or when he's walking around his apartment and sees something you gave him.
So he's going to completely block you from social media, as well as any other way he can purge you. This also includes voice mail and email messages, by the way.
If he's still returning your calls, honey, there's a good chance he still wants you back. Even if he won't admit it.
Sign #5: He's still not moved on...
Usually, a guy wants to get on with things after a breakup he considers is permanent. Guys aren't good at staying single for too long.
If he's holding himself back from actively dating or getting into a new relationship, that's a serious sign that he's still wants you back but might not want to admit it.
You might hear that he's just been hanging out with his buddies. Or he's been "working a lot."
Another possibility is that he just drops off the map entirely.
There are some guys who just don't deal with emotional loss well, and he's coping by turning inward. If he goes into isolation and withdraws, it's another sign he's not moved on.
Maybe he's been holed up in his house playing video games a lot. You might even see the opposite of the previous sign where he starts to pack on a few pounds.
Whatever the reason, if he's not dating someone else, there's a very real chance he's holding out to win you back.
Sign #6: He starts the wayback playback...
Ever notice how, no matter how much you may have disliked certain songs, or the girl scouts, or that last job that sucked, or ... high school - you ever notice how you still kinda find comfort in the memory of it?
I still think about the crappy days of high school with a certain nostalgia.
Well, guys are VERY nostalgic.
Which means he will probably start calling you up - or texting you - with tiny messages of remembrance...
"Hey - you remember when you fell in that pool?"
"Remember when we got pulled over in Omaha during that snowstorm...?"
You might even find that a few of these messages come after a couple beers, or a night out.
In fact, the word "nostalgia" originates from the Greek word that means: "pain from an old wound."
And I'm pretty sure that's a good description of the ache in his heart for you.
Sign #7: He's dunk drialing... (hic) I mean, DrunkDialing all the time...
Yeah, this is sort of related to the last sign, but this sign can stand on its own.
If he's regularly in touch with you only when he's had a few drinks, he's showing his raw side. We all know that alcohol lowers inhibitions. So there's a good chance he's revealing some of his inner feelings that he has to stuff down during the day.
On the other hand, if you find he's getting a bit too sloppy over you, you might want to make sure he's not too big of a mess. Check in and make sure he's not in some kind of depressive spiral.
Sign #8: Passions Run High...
As you may have discovered by now, guys don't always manage their emotions well. And one of the most common outlets for a man's untempered and raw feelings is throughanger.
You may have heard the saying that love isn't too far from hate. And that is sort of exactly true.
He's fighting to get you back...
Love is right next door to hate - because they can so easily be turned into each other. Love to hate, hate to love.
If you find that he's always starting fights, always turning irritable or rude with you, there's a good possibility it's because he doesn't know how to communicate his real feelings of missing you.
You have to be careful with this signal from him. Because - while it's certainly likely that he has feelings for you, you don't want to allow him to think he can be verbally abusive with you.
In a lot of cases, the conversations will just loop and you won't get much of anywhere. It's in those cases that you need to take the initiative to walk away.
Sometimes the feelings of grief are too strong, and you both need more time to heal.
Sign #9: He's a stage 4 clinger...
If he still holds on to your stuff, responds quickly when you text him, or he slips into talking about you as if you figure into his future - your guy isn't over your relationship.
If he's got stuff of yours, but doesn't seem to want to give it back - or give it up - he's got a little issue with letting go of you. That's a definite signal he wants you back but won't admit it.
If he's always quick to respond when you're not seeing each other or dating, you are seeing motivation at work in a guy. When we decide something is important to us, we make it a priority.
And when he starts discussing things you might do in the future, or encountering you in the future, that means he sees you there in his future. Or he wants you to be there. You should consider that a big sign of his emotional attachment to you.
Sign #10: He's telling you...
I mean, not to be too obvious here, but a lot of the times a guy will just tell you he misses you.
I know, crazy, right? Him just telling you what he's feeling. But missing you is an easy one for guys to figure out and then tell you about.
But just because he tells you this, it doesn't mean he's ready to get back together with you. In a lot of situations, he's still processing what happened between you. He might just need more time to figure out where his head and heart are at.
That's where you gotta have a strategy to make sure you don't let him slip through your fingers.
Don't let the opportunity pass you by.
Most women will keep Googling, keep searching, keep HOPING they're doing the right thing. But they simply don't have an answer.
The Bottom Line: He's not going to easily admit that he wants you back in his life again...
He may tell you he misses you, or he might let on that he still has feelings. But he's not going to easily admit that he wants you back in his life.
He might want to apologize, admit he was wrong, and ask you to come back to him. But his ego and pride won't let it happen.
Add to this that he no longer knows how you feel about him - and he may doubt whether you also want him back in your life or not. The more doubts he has, the more scared he becomes in accepting the possibility that he wants you back.
So, instead of confessing his feelings and asking you to come back to him and the relationship, he'll make confusing attempts to find out what you're thinking. Needless to say, it will leave you confused.
What I see most women doing is not taking this seriously. Not knowing that they can actually turn things around if they use a simple plan to get him to fall for her the way she wants him to.
Most women will joke about men as if THEY are the problem, instead of getting the knowledge they need to make it work.
Are you one of the women who WILL do what it takes?
I think so - otherwise, why would you have read this far?
Yup. You're still here because you WANT to know the truth about what to do - and how to do it.
Do what most other women will never do - find out what men really want.
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