Just recently, I watched a keynote address from a major technology company (one that has a certain kind of FRUIT in their name - hint, hint...)
They were going all-in on technology related to messaging and texting. Everything they were adding in their new cell phones this year was related to making it easier to communicate using text.
In fact, now you can pop a tiny emoji into any message almost at will. And you can even write things to people with your finger on the screen - so it looks like a personal handwritten note.
Obviously texting is here to stay.
And now, more than ever, people are using texting for everything from ordering food to emergency therapy sessions. (No, I'm not kidding about that last one.)
And if there's one topic I get questions about, it's about how to text men to get them to respond to you.
There are so many worries women have about their relationships -
- Is he getting bored of me?
- Is he in contact with other women?
- How do I get his interest/attention?
- Does he think I'm too easy? Too available?
And of course all of these worries can be related right back to texting, too.
First let's start with the 3 TYPES of texts all men want from you:
Texting Type 1- Teasing
Teasing texts work the best for many reasons...
First of all, men are incredibly simple - if you can accept this fact up front:
Men want the attention and interest of ALL women. Not just one.
That doesn't mean he's not capable of commitment, or that he will be unfaithful to you.
It simply means that he's wired a certain way. And all the judge-y thoughts in the universe don't really change this.
It's not "right" or "wrong" ... it just IS.
So if you can accept that this is a desire of men, you'll understand why letting him know too soon/too easily that you like him is a BAD IDEA.
The best part about Teasing Texts is that it makes him pay attention with a little curiosity. Being subtle is a good way to get the gears in his head turning.
By not giving the game away, you're leaving a little room for ambiguity. It will make him think along the lines of, "Is she dropping hints...or is she just nice??"
Teasing texts also hint that you're a shy girl. And every guy has that fantasy of unleashing your inner tigress from inside that cool librarian act.
So tease away, but do it strategically. He'll give chase soon enough...
Texting Type 2- Validating
These texts are the ones that validate him as a man. They get him to pay attention simply by stroking his ego.
The trick to using this kind of text is that it doesn't work if he thinks you're just kissing his butt or trying empty flattery on him.
(Well, truth be told, he might let one or two of these get by, but he will definitely catch on that they are just manipulative.)
You have to know how to do it convincingly, and with the right amount of doubt to make him really sit up and pay attention. I'll explain what that "doubt factor" is in just a bit...
Texting Type 3- Erotic/fantasy
The erotic text is pretty obvious. It's anything to do with being sexual - and it usually hints at getting down and dirty with HIM.
Now, I have a very particular way you should do this one as well. Again, most women get a bit TOO naughty in their texts, and you can run the risk of actually turning him off.
Or worse, just plain boring him.
I'll show you how to handle this in the texts below.
Keep in mind that I'm not talking about "Sexting" or sending explicit photos and/or messages. Many women think this is a requirement, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Men can imagine quite a bit, just like women can. Most of the time, all you need is the right kind of spark to get his desire burning red-hot.
And the right text can set off a chain reaction of racy thoughts in his head.
Just remember that you don't need to get crude or vulgar - EVER - when texting. That's a lot of bad advice that others might promote, but I'm giving it to you straight up.
Sexy does not mean sexual. It means HINT at it.
Now, you'll notice that I didn't say "make him laugh" as one of the texting types.
The reason for that is simple: Most attempts at humor in texting fall flat - unless you really know what you're doing.
I always recommend you avoid trying to be funny when texting, since you don't need to in order to get him interested.
And it rarely makes him all that much more interested in you. But - FUN TO BE WITH is the real thing you want to communicate to him.
Okay - now I'm going to give you 9 sexy texts that work in each of these categories.
You'll be able to choose and use each of these the right way - so that you never have to worry about how he will respond to you. (Psst - He'll LOVE THEM!)
These texts are designed to be sexy - NOT sexually explicit. I'll explain as we go why you don't need to go that far.
I'll also give you a little understanding of how and why they work on a man to give you what you need from him. Here we go...
TEXT 1: I think I'm liking that shirt on you...
When you send it: Anytime after the first date.
Why it works: Men almost never get good compliments on their clothes. Mostly because most guys don't really have good fashion sense.
But besides that, he'll love to hear that you dig his appearance.
It's small, subtle, and lifts him up.
BUT - it also is just light enough that he might wonder if you're really into him. It's indirect, and he'll want to know if this means more.
TEXT 2: Kinda cold under the blankets - sec while I put on some clothes
When you send it: After you've been out on a date and there is obvious chemistry.
Why it works: DUH! Because it hints at you being nekkid!
This text will work wonders for you based on the subtle sexual hint that it carries. Guys love the titillation factor of this one.
Just a note: if he starts getting too sexual for you, then you've got a good indication of where he's headed.
If it's TOO much, simply don't respond for a few hours, then pick it up on a more serious note. He'll get the hint.
If not, he's an idiot - or too much of a horn-dog.
Mind you, this text should not be used for brand new relationships, but anytime after you sense that he's into you is fine.
TEXT 3: Step 1 – you tell me how bad you want me and why.
Followup text: "Step 2 – If your answer is good enough – we move on to Step 3"
When you send it: Anytime just before or after you get intimate with him. (Better if before.)
Why it works: It's commanding.
This is one of those *slightly* bitchy texts that commands him to prove himself. If you think you've got the moxy and his keen desire, it's a good one to let fly.
BONUS: Don't text him back for at least an hour or two after he responds. Leave him hanging.
Turning up the heat means doing it in STAGES. When you escalate gradually, he'll be bursting at seams with anticipation.
TEXT 4: I think I saw the barista checking you out
When you send it: 2 or more dates in. Preferably, you should use this after you've been somewhere that he might have been seen by other women.
Like I said earlier, guys are wired to appreciate the attention of ALL women, even though he's not actually going to do anything about it.
Of course, if you're not at a coffee shop, you'll have to adjust your text accordingly. Just change up the details to suit the situation.
Why it works: This type of text is a double-whammy for men for a couple of reasons...
Why it works: This type of text is excellent for a couple of reasons
REASON 1: It's a small boost to his ego to think another woman was checking him out. Most guys are OBLIVIOUS to this in the world.
When you point this out to him, it makes him feel like a million bucks. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with a guy knowing other women dig him.
It's not like he's suddenly going to hit on the next lady who gives him THAT look. So go ahead and give him a little indirect compliment - he'll be flattered as hell (even if he doesn't admit it).
REASON 2: It makes him notice that you're not an obviously insecure type - at least not at first. If you're secure in yourself enough to let him know you saw someone checking him out, that speaks volumes to him.
It tells him that you're not threatened by other ladies. You're the cool girl who can handle the "competition" checking out your prize.
BONUS REASON: By extension, YOU also find him attractive since you pointed out other women fancy him. It's basically admitting how YOU see him without spelling it out - and that's HOT to a guy.
Oh, and if you ever want to have some MORE fun, just change the person in question to a guy. Hilarity will ensue.
TEXT 5: OMG - That was amazing!
You can also send a more specific/explicit version:
"OMG - you were amazing last night..."
When you send it: After you've had sex for the first time.
Why it works: He needs to know he's competent in the sack.
You might wonder if you want to send something like this if he wasn't all that in the bedroom, and the answer is... maybe.
If you're not going to keep seeing him, or if he's just a test drive, let him think he was at least okay. But don't ever reward poor performance with cheers and accolades.
TEXT 6: OUT! OUT!
When he responds with "What?" or "?", you should reply with:
"Get out of my head! You've been in here all day..."
When you send it: After you've had a few dates, Late in the day.
Why it works: Curiosity!
Keeping him curious is a great way to keep him engaged and seeing you as fun. When you can keep a guy guessing, you're giving him the best kind of challenge.
TEXT 7: I had a naughty dream last night and you were in me...
FOLLOW UP TEXT: "WHOOPS! I mean, IN IT..."
When you send it: Anytime just before or after you start getting sexually intimate.
Why it works: The old Freudian slip is a great way to get dirty without compromising your dignity and femininity.
Use it when you want to hint him into going that direction - or if you're afraid he's losing interest in the conversation. He'll definitely sit up and take notice - even make him spit out his morning coffee...
TEXT 8: Wanna play a game with me?
When you send it: Anytime.
Why it works: Again, curiosity.
I like this one because you take it almost ANYWHERE. You can go into playful questions, or even into the naughty zone.
I highly recommend having a few good truth or dare-ish questions. Use the Power Questions I give you in my programs (click HERE to check it out now).
Men actually LOVE having their brains picked. So choose the questions that allow you to get to know him better.
And when you do it over text, it gives it a more exciting, clandestine edge to it. Imagine him furiously typing as he gives away his deepest, darkest secrets while he's at work...
He'll get a kick out of this one, that's for sure.
TEXT 9: When did you last ... take care of yourself?
When you send it: Anytime after the intimacy is all but a done deal.
Why it works: It's provocatively erotic to talk about your solo sex habits.
Guys are a bit bashful about their ME time. Which makes it a great place to kick off an out-of-the-blue text conversation like this.
When you pry open the topic out of nowhere, it'll give him a rush. He'll likely be stoked to reveal his dirty side over text, so keep this kind of text handy.
It will also give you a bit of a "dominating" presence to the sexual energy, which is a huge turn on for a lot of guys. The sexual side of a relationship is a bit of dance, and a guy loves it when you take turns taking the lead.
BONUS - Send this: "Did you think about me when you did?"
Even if he didn't, he'll probably say yes.
And then the next time, he will.
You can also take any one of those texts and juice it up - or tone it down. Keep in mind that there are 3 levels of flirting with guys:
SUBTLE - Hard to pick up, and can qualify as teasing. If you don't know him well, always err to the side of too subtle. If he's missing your hints, then by all means dial them up a notch or two.
OBVIOUS - He won't miss these signals of interest from you. You go to this level when he's flirting back or showing CLEAR signs of interest in you. Until he does, don't get obvious with him too soon or he'll think you're too easy and will lose interest.
SEXUAL - Not only will he not miss these, he'll probably respond with the most interest of all. But that's only if you've done the right amount of driving the sexual tension through the roof before you use them.
Now, these texts are going to light a fire under his bottom and propel him into action. Men need the green light from you, so he'll appreciate you throwing him a bone or two with these messages.
But I'm guessing you ALSO want to seal the deal by creating LONG-TERM attraction - I'm talking about YEARS.
If that's the case, then you'll have to step your game AFTER using these texts on him. Getting his attention NOW is one thing, and sustaining that feeling is another.
I've got a video on creating what I like to call IRRESISTIBLE DESIRE in your relationship. This is the only way to TRULY keeping him interested for a LONG time to come.
It's all just a matter of showing him that SECRET SIGNAL that he's looking for. He doesn't even know that he is, but just DOES.
And when you can do this (which is pretty EASY by the way), it'll instantly tell him you're THE ONE.
All you need to do is check out this free presentation I made - click here to get started now...
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